the previous post was for yesterday !
something wrong with the timing:/ .
oh wells !
lunch-ed with shuting at ljs after school !
many things happened .
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it really sucks a lot to know the truth .
when actually it means nothing to you,
but it means a hell lot to me .
by saying that ,
i shall take it that you wish to end it all .
& i'm very willing to break this one & for all .
i don't know:/ , maybe not .

sometimes, i thought to myself .
it was never a friendship in the first place .
seriously, it doesn't really mattered to me if it was a perfect friendship .
but what mattered most was ,
you broke my trust again and again .
since it wasn't a close friendship,
why bother to even shape it into a friendship ?
you let someone whom you barely talk to , to manipulate you .
and not even realising that it was as good as being a hypocrite .
if you were to show the way you feel about me ,
i might not even give a damn .
if you think that looks matter so much,
why bother to even dispraise someone ? ,
when inner beauty is the one that's more significant .
several occasions, you even had the decency to complain to me about the others,
when in the first place, they treat you just like how you want to be treated .
they did not badmouth you or even criticise you,
and again and again, you thought it was okay for you to critisize them first .

if this is going to happen again with your future friends,
you'll just end up knowing that none of them are ever true to you .
why bother to despise others or even fustigate
others when you aren't that perfect yourself ?
each and everyone have our very own bad points .
and we do realise it and try very hard to change .
but you choose to remain ignorant about this reality ,
i've really nothing more to say .
grow up , that's what everyone is expected to .
by not accepting your frailty and weaknesses ,
you're just not going to get anywhere .

remember, no one is perfect .
i'm no exception .
so don't expect me to be flawless .
cause i accept my shortcomings rather than you .
but at least i'd rather cherish what i have now .
and be my very own self .
standing up on my own, not belittling others .
rather, not letting others to manipulate me .
that's all i've to say .
the rest is up to you to think .
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by being angry and hating me ,
it means that you never benefit what
my whole intention was from this post .
by staying calm and not bearing any grudge against me ,
it means that you really grow up and will
never let anyone to manipulate you anymore .
the choice is really up to you .

its not getting me anywhere ; you'll never know how much it hurts .

`x estee x`