Friday`29-12-2006

alrights.

its was kinda nice.

around 12plus got ready and went to school to meet Lynn and Joanna to pass them their christmas prezzies! (:

and I am SO SORRY for the wrapper.

it really sucks I know.

cause I got it wrapped like two weeks ago?

and yes' thanks DAR & SWEETIE for that very sweet present! (:

Lynn got me this cute Precious Moments Calendar.

I LOVE IT SO MUCH CAN!

and Joanna got me this musical thing that can store some things inside.

SUPER CUTE can! and I LOVE THAT LIKE HELL TOO!

if have the chance I shall take the photo of it and post it up. (;

okay after that, waited for brother like around 10minutes?

then he say he tired then don't wanna go.

no lahhs' but i don't blame him.

camp ended the day before.

yeahhs' so took 28 with erika and gang to interchange.

after that depart at small mac there.

then "ring. ring" sis called.

asked where was I.

and so after that had to take 69 to Temasek Polytechnic to meet her.

the trip was kinda scary please.

its like I never took 69 before and then it went past like so many ulu-ulu places.

but there were PEOPLE in the bus, so it wasn't that scary after that actually.

and yeahhs' was supposed to meet the main bus-stop at TP but the "gong-gong" me alighted one stop before.

TP has THREE bus-stops lahs!

Like how'd I know which is which.

that bus-stop also got a bridge mahs. =/

called sis and she said she'd cab down to that bus-stop to fetch me.

waited like 15mins standing that like an idiot, the taxi finally arrived.

then together with Tiffany, sis's friend, cabbed down to Furniture Mall to meet Mummy, Er-yi and WeiYing. (;

after a 15-min ride, finally reached Furniture Mall.

and then Tiffany Jie proceeded to go to her destination.

its was a good-bye from there.

then went up to the third floor to look for them'

er-yi was looking at dining tables.

but couldn't really find a suitable one.

at that time, I was really hungry le.

its like 3plus and I didn't eat anything for the whole morning.

so went to The Concourse to have our LATE lunch.

ate Burger King.

and their service is like haiz'

but don't really blame the guy.

guess he's new.

so yeahhs' took 15mins to order.

if its macdonald's wouldn't we get 15 ice-cream cones? hahas' xP

and so after lunch, we can't really find any nice beds there so decided to take a bus to Suntec City. (:

took 16 there, just one stop.

and then from Suntec went to Raffle's City.

weiying needed to go to That Cd Shop.

so yeahhs'

tagged along.

had a wide variety of Cd's there.

weiying couldn't make up her mind.

in the end I recommended her to buy JoJo's latest album.

featuring Too Little Too Late! (:

i just LOVE that song please.

yeahhs' so after that it was like 5 plus le.

so weiying had to go to work at Giordano @ Suntec.

so another good-bye.

decided to go to Robinson's to look for beds.

we are renovating! (:

sister's and brother's room only.

and after the renovation, I am supposed to move in with her.

its nice lahhs.

for the fact that the room will be painted PINK and PURPLE! (:

GIRL'S COLOUR. (:

Brother's room most probably be BLUE and GREEN?

headed to Robinson's and guess what?

WE FINALLY GOT OUR BED! (:

the KIASU us even bought our bed-sheets le. (:

heh-hehs. XD

the bed-sheet is DAMN sweet lahhs! (:

blue`bears.

awww, so CUTE! XP

peixuan-jiejie met up with us there.

hahas;

and yeahhs' everything will be settled.

the new bed with be coming in on Febuary 10. (:

YEAHH! XD

yupps; then after that went to ThaiExpress to have our dinner.

by that time it was already 7plus.

reached ThaiExpress @ CityLink.

and we were seated quite fast. (:

I ordered Seafood Pak-Tai.

its nice. XD

that'd be my last seafood le.

cause after dinner, er-yi went off and we went to Marina Square.

pierced my ear at GoldHeart.

and so the sud with be stucked on my ear for 3 months.

and that means for 3 months I have to refrain from taking seafood.

Fish is okay.

and so PEOPLE!

do me this favour.

*REMIND me NOT TO take SEAFOOD!*

arghh' that's not gonna be easy.

I AM A SEAFOOD-LOVER CAN! T.T

but whatever it is, no temptations.

and after piercing, it was already 9plus 10 le.

so decided to go home le.

shopped enough already anyways'

and yeahhs'

another good-bye at City Hall Mrt Station to Peixuan-JieJie.

wow' so many good-byes.

its hard to say good-bye. ):

reached tampines at 2205hrs.

took 38 home.

maybe this is fate or what, but brother was actually in the bus!

so COINCIDENCE lahhs! XD

watched tv while waiting for my turn to bathe

after bathing, it was conferencing time! (:

with the TWO CUTIE PIES! (:

then around 0135hrs had to put down le.

so yeahhs'

watched a bit of tv then around 2plus dozed off.

Saturday`30-12-2006

it's dad birthday today.

so that means will be going out to celebrate.

and eat RESTAURANTS again.

gosh! I am SICK of restaurants and fast-foods.

nevermind' just FOUR more days to school-reopen.

and your birthday. so yeahhs' `toodles people! (:

`x 'estee x`

Horoscope for December 29, 2006

Gemini

The Bottom Line
Don't be flighty about choices you make today. Only make a choice if you're sure.

In Detail
If you're unsure of any choices you need to make today, that's okay. There's no need for haste, and you must not appear to be diffident or flighty. Take all the time you need to go carefully over the information you have, and ask around for details that might have slipped through the cracks. Make your decision only when you're ready -- and then stick to it. Your behavior is being scrutinized.

Horoscope for December 28, 2006

Gemini

The Bottom Line
Own your future -- today, don't let anyone influence your hopes and wishes.

In Detail
You own your future -- so you can't let anyone influence your hopes and wishes or tell you that what you want won't ever happen. This is a time to marshal your inner strength and stand firm for what you want. An excess of energy could cause you to fly off the handle once or twice today, but no one will be offended by your passion. You have a vision of what you want the next year of your life to be. Today, go out and start turning that vision into reality.

okay I know its not Taiwan's fault.

but seriously this is freaking IRRITATING!

when can the cables ever be repaired? x/

slept for one hour plus just now.

its nice to sleep in this weather.

just kinda freaking cold.

brrr....

haiz' its only FIVE more days to school re-open.

don't know whether to sighh' or to be happy.

actually I'm more happy lahhs.

school re-open means there's work to do! ^^

I am so bored!

I wanna do homework also cannot.

can only just revise through guide books and such.

just that I haven't touch geography yet. x/
history, science and maths a little bit only.

one thing for sure is that Eric is not in 2F anymore. (:

so that means only left Keefe and Emrys.

that two little xiao-gua.

is like Keefe and I had a dispute before.

so yeahhs'

but I'm just gonna heck em'.

who cares?

Emrys and Keefe ONLY mahs.

the most they do to irritate me is to disturb the class.

what else can they do?

just hope they kena suspension if they did anything bad.

okay, suddenly become so evil. =X

maybe just see em' an eye sore bahs.

especially KEEFE! >;(

haiz' don't talk about them le.

during that one hour plus of sleep.

I dreamt something.

somehow I feel that its so Fantasy.

haiz' its a long story.

but its kinda sweet.

I yearn for sweet dreams and not sour ones.

like who will want sour dreams?

but past few days haven't been sleeping well.

especially last night.
maybe cause I was sleeping alone bahs.

but Jerome is coming back tonight le.

so no worries I think.

hmms'

mummy wanna go out tomorrow.

and she says this saturday dad's birthday wanna go eat buffet. T.T

I don't want.

at most don't go lorz.

yeahh.. like that's possible?

never mind'

shall just enjoy the last few days of holidays.

and people remember to get your bag packed and report books signed ok! (:

`toodles.

I wish I may, I wish I might, that you'd be here with me tonight.

its just so impossible.

`x 'estee x`

just came back from school.

last minute got no modern dance.

cause teacher sick.

yeahhs'

so me and kathy just walk around the school lorz.

walk walk walk.

till around 11plus, frendy came.

went to the third level near the art room there.

then i feel so BRIGHT.

so bluffed them go toilet.

actually is went to walk around. =X

sorry kathy! =P

she wanted to find the badminton peeps.

so yeahhs' around 1150hr like that go hall to find them.

played badminton for a while.

hmms' yupps;

the badminton peeps and kathy went to TM for lunch.

and I headed home with lynn[badminton].

then was stucked at the police post there cause it was raining damn heavily.

called mummy.

she brought a umbrella along and fetch me. ^^

yeahhs'

then here I am! XD

saw zerlina they all just now.

I miss em' ! x/

hahas' and yesterday had "one night stand" with richelle.

bleahz. xP

they'll be back tonight!

HOORAY!

don't need to sleep alone le. (:

those eyes ... has a connection to those tears?

`x 'estee x`

results of project runway.....

JEFFREY!

Okay lahhs' I quite like his collection. (:

its real nice.

but I thought Uli ought to win. x/

but yeahhs' its okay. (:

I am pleased with the results.

Why do I feel so hurt and misery all of a sudden?

hmms'

went to buy dinner at around 2015hr just now.

and yeahhs'

talked to davin at the same time on my hp.

alone at home before that.

it was kinda too quiet that something just went wrong.

but yeahhs' its over now.

just needed to cool.

after buying dinner, went to buy bubble tea then walk a very long way home.

from old saint's home to school's side gate then from side gate walk home.

just didn't feel like going home so early and took a slow walk home.

it was kinda nice.

the feeling is soothing and free.

I'm just so angry with myself. I'm sorry santa, I just can't stay happy.

okay' Simple Life is just super cute!

Paris Hilton rocks! (x

think that's all.

`byotch.

just 45 mins more and 27th is over.

`x 'estee x`

Tears started flowing again...

I just can't help it.

I can't find the strength to let go.

after reading the history.

it just hurt me even more.

so much more.....

`x 'estee x`

brrr... its cold..

just came back from modern dance.

kinda forgotten the steps le.

but it turned out quite okay lahhs.

hmms'

went to Tampines Mall™ with Kathy.

ate Long J0hn Silver.

Kathy bought a comic from Popular.

yeahhs'

after that took 28 back.

nothing much happened today.

sighh' brother went for trainer's camp.

and I have to sleep alone tonight in the room. x/

never mind' he'd be back tomorrow! (:

saw him just now also.

yeahhs' and I crapped alot just now.

just wasn't feeling right just now.

and I just crapped all the way.

Sorry Kathy for just now.

yupps; =/

its just so boring! =/

zerlina, piriya they all go for trainer's camp.

cannot conference. x/

sighh' I WILL MISS YOU ALL!

its just one night.

I'm gonna go on one night stand with richelle! xP

no lahhs' kidding only. =X

hehex. =D

`x 'estee x`

Horoscope for December 27, 2006

Gemini

The Bottom Line
A casual acquaintance will become a significant friend at some point today.

In Detail
You will encounter a bridge during your day's journey -- it is meant to connect you to another person, and crossing it will cause a casual acquaintance to become a good friend. You may not even notice that you're on the bridge until you're halfway across -- and it may involve some sort of conflict. Don't be alarmed -- the two of you will be on the same side, fighting for the same cause. Fighting a common foe is a good way to get to know another person better.

found this in friendster! (:

`x 'estee x`

`26122006

woke up at 1155 today.

prepared and got ready to go to school.

main purpose was actually return Genevie her disc.

yeahhs' and since the instructor's dance was on so just join in lorz.

gave to two people their christmas prezzies.

hope they like it! ^^

ate KFC for dinner. x/

promised that cannot eat fast food le.

but zerlina say eat healthy fast food.

but its not healthy can! T.T

sighh'

today rain for the whole day.

quite a cooling day I'd say. (:

`27122006

its only 0113hr.

what can possibly happen?

only that davin, zerlina and jerome is one the line now.

like before using the com was talking to davin.

then jerome talking to zerlina.

then its like davin called my phone.

then jerome use the house phone to call zerlina.

so its like for a while on loudspeaker for both phones.

and davin and zerlina were like having a "couple" fight lahhs!

so CUTE can!

the way they talk and such.

LOL!

okok' =X

later some people jealous again.

and i mean PIRIYA and RICHELLE! =X

hahas' xP

shall blog today happenings later! (:

`toodles. XD

27th december 2006; something happened 5 months ago.

`x 'estee x`

sher'sharifah(:'kotesie'JudaxiL'stellion'bemily'jakerx-` MERRY X'MAS TO YOU ALL TOO! (:

`hui qi`okay! its a DEAL! (:

DEBRAAA` heys GIRL! you're welcome! (: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO! (:

decemberBABY.™` heys girL! yesterday used your com then you forgot to change back to your name arhz? LOL! hahas' and I am SORRY okay! for being late and not being able to take neoprints with ya, cause I was pretty tired. =/ and yes; hahas' AT LEAST I TURNED UP! XD HEYS! its your birthday now! 0028 ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL! sweetELEVEN always okay? and PLEASE PLEASE study hard for next year PSLE! that'd be the greatest thing you can do for jie jie. promise? (:

first of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! ^^

okay.

yesterday was nice.

early in the morning woke up at 8 plus.

preparing to check out by 1030.

and yeahhs'

had macdonald breakfast again. XP

and yeahhs' hotcakes again.

but this time is share with tingting. (:

and had tea instead of milo.

and then check out everything, then er-yi came to fetch us.

pei ling jie jie and tingting came to my house.

cause after that going to san-yi house le.

so from my house go with my parents and sister.

as for me and my brother.

we are supposed to meet davin and gang at 1330.

and yes' by the time we reached home was only 1050.

so still got time to prepare.

so in the end i used the com and updated abt the happenings. (;

and yeahhs' after that around 12plus get ready bathe everything then around 1325 like that left the house.

we were late for like 5 to 10 mins?

called zerlina on the bus.

asked her along, in the end spent 10mins of persuading she didn't go. x/

so met up the rest at tampines control station.

I drank a bit of v0dka again. (:

and yepps;

kangqi, nicholas, davin, bryan, kokleong, dingsheng, myron, joshua,chuan chun, yakai, jerome and me set off to yishun safra.

intended to take MRT but in the end, they say take bus faster.

so went down the escalator again and got out of there.

took 969.

journey was around 20 mins like that?

and yes reached yishun le.

took 812 or is it 821?

err, forget le.

but took either one to yishun safra.

in the end reach le, and WOW!

its GIGANTIC can! xO

and its like super posh lahhs!

its also a country club so yeahhs.

and I was like, how nice it is to be living near there.

there's lots of facilities there.

the best part I LOVE was the bridge.

from there can see the beautiful scenery.

its like OMG!

roamed about the place.

in the end all the bowling alley was booked.

so in the end, we headed to the pool centre.

its like nice there.

and played for two hours!

teamed up with davin and chuan chun. (:

and all I can say is Chuan Chun is good.

STAR player of our team. ^^

hahas'

the rest are not too bad.

but i have to admit that nicholas and bryan was really good.

moses met up with us soon too.

yupps;

after pool was arcarde.

played daytona with davin.

he won, I lost.

then play with kokleong.

and the result was the same.

yeahhs' then after that, jerome, yakai, bryan, nicholas, dingsheng, myron played lan.

while the rest just played the games at the arcade.

meanwhile, me and kangqi was doodling on the glass.

as in using the mist to doodle.

we are good girls.

we don't vandalise. =P

doodled lots of craps.

I LOVE to doodle using the mist.

I do it on my toilet mirror too. =D

hehex.

but its a SECRET on what I wrote. =X

then time past and had to go to san-yi house le. =/

me, jerome and joshua left together.

yeahh, took the same bus back to yishun mrt station.

the rest went to eat dinner at orchard.

and kangqi and nic went home le.

and so yeahhs;

reached san-yi house at around 1940.

was quite hungry and thirsty le.

cause didn't eat lunch.

and yeahhs'

didn't really eat that much.

did nothing much after dinner.

then around 8lus 9 played games. (:

its was fun. (:

had a half an hour interval.

san-yi went to collect cake.

then it was un-scrambling time.

had to figure out the un-scrambled words.

i gave out the words for un-scramble after san-yi and jerome gave up to think about the words.

then the time came.

it was midnight le. (:

time to poke some balloons and get your exchange gift.

asked davin and zerlina which color i should poke.

in the end, davin said pink and zerlina said red.

so of course i listened to my laogong, and in the end, i got the bestest present anyone could get.

one golden village movie voucher and a notebook along with it. ((:

its like AHHHHHH!
I LOVE ZERLINA man!

luckily I didn't poke the pink one.

hehex. XP

then soon after the people started to go home le.

we were the last one to go.

and the last three got a bottle of champange each. (x

then reach home.

took a shower and off to bed.

Today

woke up at 1415. XP

brushed my teeth and all.

lazed at home the whole day.

its kinda saddening to stay at home during christmas doing nothing.

but no choice. =/

then here I am. (;

that's practically all bahs.

so `nights! (:

`x 'estee x`

I'm back! (x

okay let's see.

on friday night, dad, mum, sis, bro and me went to check in first.

and yeahh, our family spent the night there.

chatted on the phone with Davin and Zerlina.

then after that Shermaine came in the Zerlina go sleep le.

after that everyone wanna sleep le so cannot talk le lorz.

have to sleep also. x/

so yeahhs'

poorPOORestee have to sleep right under the air-con.

its like so freaking COLD lahhs! T.T

then make me have to wake up at 8am EXACTLY cause it was just FREAKING cold.

at around 9 plus, dad and mum went home cause mum needed to go market.

so yeahhs'

left me, jerome and chanel.

played playstation ALONE.

apparently jerome and chanel was still sleeping lahhs.

then in the end, had to go to macdonald's to buy breakfast for them.

so took a little morning walk to macdonald's and bought SME™ for brother.

me and sister shared hotcakes, cause I am not used to eating breakfast.

and didn't really had much appetite.

yepps;

after eating, watch a bit of tv and EVERYONE just fall asleep.

including me. XP

then after one hour, I woke up again.

and then its was super boring.

then watched tv and chatted on the phone with CUTIEno.2. ^^

that is sweetLOVINGpiriya! (:

then around 2 plus, pei ling jie jie bought chicken rice for lunch.

couldn't finish the whole packet.

like normally I could.

but just no appetite and really was kinda full from that breakfast.

and so yeahh'

so there was me, sister, brother and pei ling jie jie.

met up with sis's boyfriend at mac.

was going to cycle when er-yi called and said that she's arriving soon.

so no choice had to go back to the chalet.

and yeahhs'

went to the main entrance to take the things.

after that set up the bbq pit.

and it was bbq-ing time!

but sister, brother, pei ling jie jie, ting ting,ke zhan(sis's boyfriend) and me went to cycle!

wasn't hungry mahs.

and yepps;

OFF TO CYCLE!

cycled from the starting point till the end.

then went to the beach to sit down for a while.

it was really relaxing. (:

thought of lots of things there.

felt relaxed and calm.

then it was off to cycle back to the bicycle kiosk le.

after cycling then went back to the chalet.

ate a plate of bee-hoon and just one saussage.

you all should know the reason why. =X

and yeahhs'

then it was super boring.

I managed to take some photos.

shall upload it another time. (;

after that, da-jiu-jiu went to fetch liwen and liyun.

and I and tingting tagged along.

the night ride was nice. (:

then came back to the carpark.

saw er-yi.

she was going to fetch weiying.

and off I go, for another ride.

after fetching weiying then headed back to the chalet.

this time, just sat around and chatted with the aunties, uncles and cousins.

after a while got really bored.

just so coincidence that davin called. xD

and yes, chatted with him again. (:

talked alot of CRAP.

hang up and asked him to call back cause he wanted to find out something.

then went to bathe le.

then after bathing he go sleep le so didn't continue with the chat.

and yes, I don't think I'll tell you what you wanna know.

cause its evil to do what I ain't supposed to do okay. =X

and so yeahhs'

played a bit of blackjack and I was kinda sleepy le.

by that time was aleady 1plus le.

slept until 3.33am.

nice timing rights?

then woke up.

at that time, everyone was ready to drink VODKA le!

drank TWO cups, ONLY! =/

it was kinda little for each cup.

felt enegetic again.

and played playstation.

play until 3.50am like that.

then it was bed-time.

cause grandmum was going to sleep.

so had to sleep too.

or else it'd be rather disturbing.

was kinda irritated when some people kept talking and disturbing the rest.

then I "scolded" them lahhs.

and asked them to shut up.

then finally had some peace and everyone dozed off.

by that time it was already 4.25am le.

woke up 3 1/2 hours later.

that is around 8 plus.

packed everything and prepared to check out.

and here I am bloggin! (:

gotta go out soon with brother.

they going yishun to play.

and I feel super extra.

but davin asked me to go so anything lorz.

some more go san-yi's house so early also no use.

nothing much to do there.

and I shall be a nice girl to accompany my brother. (:

toodles`

`x 'estee x`

I'm confused.

are we still friends?

I'm alright now. (:

but weichong don't believe.

he say I go crazy.

but its like I'm REALLY okay le GUY.

don't worry.

I not so stupid can.

what for go CRAZY?

because of HIM?

then I not ESTEE KHO le.

hahas' ^^

I miss my Zerina LAOGONG and Richelle&Piriya CUTIES!

sighh' its SO boring here!

I wanna play basketball.

but no one accompany me. =/

so saddening.

can't play basketball le.

no one to play with.

should I or shoud I not go chalet tonight?

should I just go tomorrow?

I feel like I've many things left un-done.

many things to settle once and for all.

but it'll be impossible to settle it now. =/

i'm in a very stable state now.

so can we just get things done with once and for all?

or else, later I might just break down again.

Sighh' I am TIRED of breaking down again and again.

another thing.
If you mention that I'm another person's daughter again.
I'll make sure that something WILL happen.
and I am SURE that day will come.
So you wouldn't have to keep on suspecting that I am NOT your daughter anymore.

alone at home now.

again.

yes.

again.

that sucks.

there's nothing to do.

I am not as busy as last time.

at least there's still a friend that I could chat to.

but now I broke the friendship.

and I don't regret.

cause he's so much more happier without a burden like me.

so I should feel happy that he's happy.

is there anything that a PERSON can do?

the whole house is so quiet. =/

i want NOISE!

its DAMN freaking quiet now lahhs!

what's wrong with me?

keep on complaining when I know that nothing will happen to make it happen.

shut up ESTEE KHO.

DAMN!

what's the FREAKING hell problem with me?

I just can't stop typing.

I wanna stop.

I wanna STOP ALL THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!

I'm supposed to be

HAPPY.

HAPPY.

HAPPY.

not

SAD.

SAD.

SAD.

chapterFOUR

I found lovely friends.

I found Santa too.

He asked me to be HAPPY.

and I am HAPPY.

but weichong says I'm faking and has gone crazy instead.

is it true santa?

I'm just following orders.

that's all.

I'm just being happy.

`x 'estee x`

I had a dream yesterday.
I met SANTA. (:

he says I don't have to lose my memory.

with so many caring friends beside me, he doesn't wish to be so cruel to take my memory away from me.
he asked me to forget my unhappy memories.

but when I remember them, don't be sad.

everyone has their miseries and happiness.

just remember that there are many caring ones beside me whom I can always talk to.

SANTA is one LOVING guy.

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT HE'S THE ONE WHO MADE ME STRONG AGAIN.

THANKS SANTA!

ILOVEYOU! (:

and I sincerely wish to thank these few people who has been there for me during my darkest times.

Zerlina, Richelle, Piriya, KeHua, Amy, WeiChong, ShuTing, KangQi, Nicholas, Lynn, LiJin, YuYing.

and those who cared for me.

Hidayah, Sharifah, Kathy, JoelGOH(he told me lots of stuffs that I didn't know it would come out of his mouth.)

YES, THANKS EVERYONE!

and I've something to say to TWO PEOPLE.

-I wish you all the BEST in everything! get on with your life. I wish you all the best with "her" in the near future! (:

-Well, I'm really sorry for breaking this friendship. at least, you are HAPPIER and your BURDEN has been lessen so much more. I'm really happy that you are so much HAPPIER! ^^

`x 'estee x`

Richelle, What did that person do behind my back?

tell me please? x/

`x 'estee x`

I WANT MY WISH!
THE LOSS OF MY MEMORY!
PLEASE!
I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MY WISH TO BE GRANTED.

blurtingx` hahas' you remind me of your brother. the message he sent yesterday was so so so MUSHY can! hahas' but yeahhs' thanks to you two brother sister. (:
lynn` thanks for tagging sweetie! (:
kathy` hahas' miss me so much wor? anyways' my leg is better le lahhs' thanks for the concern!
sharifah(:` thanks a MILLION girl! i should be well again tomorrow? the leg is not as hurting as yesterday and the night before.
lijin` yeahhs; thanks GIRL. why do I've the feeling that you know what is happening? anyways; err, yeahhs' thanks. (:

kbox was fun today.

but it was mostly piriya and richelle enjoying there.

our lao gong abandon-ed us. =/

no lahhs' she was busy with her stuffs.

i won't elope with piriya and richelle de.

don't worry' (:

I am very understanding de. ^^

when I sang certain songs just now, it made me wanna cry so badly.

`x 'estee x`

its midnight!

and I'm still akwake.

cause I just can't get to sleep.

don't think will be sleeping soon also.

just wish I could just stop thinking.

One day I'm really gonna think till my mind go bonkers.

till I can't recognise anyone at all.

That'd be the greatest wish santa could give me.

The loss of my memory.

`x 'estee x`

its scary and lonely to be alone at home.

something might just happen.

it really might...

`x 'estee x`

couldn't attend stage arts day today. =/

alone at home now.

thinking of something.

talking to piriya and richelle at the same time.

downloading kong kong to play with them.

you make me don't know what to do with my life.

'estee

and yes you knew, so are you going to be with him? and leave the other?

'estee

I didn't keep my promise.

I'm sorry.

cause yesterday I cried after all.

'estee

thanks for the heart-warming dinner today, Richelle, Piriya and Kehua.

and DOUBLE thanks for piriya and kehua for keeping me company these two days.

you don't deserve to be my friend cause you don't undetstand what i need after all. 'estee

it ain't a SWEET life anymore.

'estee

read through some of my posts.

I lead such a SAD life?

WOW! How did I even lead such a life?

'estee

One day has past.

I'm staying strong.

no matter what happens.

I'm here for myself!

and I don't need anyone to confide in.

Its all the END.

NO CONFIDANTS!

NO BEST FRIEND!

NO TEARS! ESTEE KHO!

'estee

sorry people.

give me one week to give you a nice and proper post can?

These few days are just not going to be understandable.

thanks for the KIND understanding.

'estee

Thanks to Piriya, Amy and Kehua for accompanying me today! (x

'estee

THE END. (:

lijin` I'm so DAMN busy on THURSDAY! so many people jio me out. but most of all, I wanna go Karaoke with richelle they all. I SO DAMN not sure lehz. x/ I shopped TOO MUCH le. =/
kenny` hellos kenny ong!
[Dea†hG°D]™` ... your com got prob huh? -.-''
jakerx-` thanks for tagging? you miss her too much le lahhs.
ifFah` LINKED! XD
joanna` breakfast. UMM, too much FUN le bahs? =P
zerina` hahas' yepps; ((:
lynn` its sang by 4pm. (: sing until so nice. obviously not m.k.b rights? XP three people are gonna kill me le. xP was kidding only hor! bleahz; xP

like I promised.
here are yesterday's happenings! (:

Friday
piriya, zerlina and richelle came for breakfast.
JudaxiL too.
blah blah blah.
went to school.
bought school books and then afterwards help Zerlina with her things.
played basketball. ):
wasn't really into it. can see lahhs'
my mood was like =/ .
I felt a sense of cold-ness from you, and I DREADED that feeling MUCH.
KENNY ONG made me stand in the RAIN!
JOEL GOH made me went to the DARK & CREEPY basement and FREAKED me out.
went back home feeling emo.
just didn't had the feeling to think so much.
went back home with piriya, richelle and JudaxiL coming along.
sang karaoke at my house again. (:
of course, I sang like mostly EMO songs.
and sweet sweet piriya and richelle dedicated an emotional song for me.
sang by Jolin; The taste of Lemon Grass.
well, similarly. I felt the same taste too.
THANKS A MILLION GIRLS! (:
those tears are not what they meant, are they?
yepps;
went for dinner with piriya & richelle.
ke hua joined us.
and much to my amazement, We managed to talk so much!
like SO MUCH!
we spent like almost 2hrs there.
the first half an hour eating.
the next one and a half hours chatting.
believe it or not.
we just had SO MUCH to talk.
went home conferencing with them without ke hua.
had to leave early cause was using the com and dad was already like gonna sleep.
so can't talk.
sorry GIRLS!
after that, something like really BIG happened.
when dad woke up and fetched mum, I was left alone in the room.
then those tears started to flow, with a reason I'm still searching for. Maybe I had already know why I teared.
didn't managed to sleep well the whole night.
because of some things, in actual fact its MANY things, running through my mind.

Sunday
woke up at 11plus.
got ready to go to the salon to cut my hair.
it turned out the way I kinda expected it to be.
just it made me look DIFFERENT.
you all might not get used to it.
then afterwards headed to suntec to shop. (:
didn't expected to bring home shopping bags.
but what do you think?
is that really possible? xP
and then in the end I bought a white top and MY BLACK CONVERSE SHOES! ((:
THANKS MUMMY! (: `muacks!
and just left the 20 bucks mum promised me.
I gotta use that money to buy something for someone. =X
then ate SIAMkitchen for dinner.
its a Thai buffet.
didn't ate that much.
just didn't had the appetite to.
and maybe for the following days too.
I'm gonna STARVE myself and make life MISERABLE for myself.
NO MORE RESTAURANTS AND FAST-FOOD!
yupps; (:

Remember that we once talked about IF we were ever to be separated from each other, I said I'd be STRONG enough to not have you existing in my world. But it turned out that it wasn't TRUE. I can't LIVE WITHOUT YOU. I really can't. Yesterday just happened to enlighten me the TRUTH. The TRUTH OF MY LOVE TOWARDS YOU. Its just too much that even you wouldn't know. Even you'd never had thought that it was TRUE. I doubt you'd even know that this passage exists. =/

'estee

Shall post today's happenings tomorrow.
I am weeping as I type this.
Listening to Rihanna's Unfaithful and Tsubasa Chronicles- If you are my love by Kaijiura Yuki.

15/12/2006 2340hrs ; I'm feeling very miserable. very miserable.

'estee

heya! (:

I'm finally back in TAMPINES yesterday.
okays.
the stay was okay.

went shopping at orchard yesterday with er-yi and wei ying.
nothing much.
ate THAIexpress.
not bad. XD

zerlina, richelle and piriya are here. (:
that's all.
`byes.

'estee

ehh' why so many people spam my tagboard until like that?

iris` hellos iris DAHLING! (: its okay, just telling you so that you are updated! ^^ loveyou too!
lijin` heys! so sorry for late reply. hmms' shopping? no lahhs' where got much? I still wanna shop lehz! later going out with my auntie. XD you wanna shop? remember our date lehz! oh shyt! i still haven date my sweetie no. 2!! arghh' x/ you mind we go out together?
JudaxiL` yes mdm! (;
lynn` heys SWEETIE! (; farewell ended yesterday! and why'd I be there? hahas' you had fun? 'missedyouLOTS can!! wanna go out on 21st? ((:
yikai` you that BORED? go play your volleyball lahhs. =.=''
scorpioz` -.-'' how LAME can you people get?
Jerr kor` hahas' okok' hong kong! disneyland! how bored can you be?
[Dea†hG°D]™` ehh' how can you say my blog noisy! >;[
lynn` T.T i am so TOUCHED! thankyou so much sweetie! T.T i miss you!! yes! and I WILL sms ya GIRL! ((:
qiu` hahas' thanks senior! 'with muchie loves. <3

greetings! (:

came back from vivo city already.
yepps;
watched HAPPY FEET just now.
kinda CUTE and FUNNY lahhs I'd say.
I will rate it 3/5 stars?

don't really feel well today actually.
kinda having headaches these few days.
and mood swings too.
so I'm sorry if my temper gets really bad to you.

sighh' shuting and weichong haven't come back yet from m'sia.
i miss them. x/
hopefully they come back and certain things can be settled.
especially weichong!
you are SO NEEDED can!
something happened again.
and you should know what.
it happened before that made you and me headache.
and this time, it ain't gonna be easy I guess.

Don't come act in front of me like we are so close. In fact, its just a DISGRACE knowing you. This type of person, I'd rather DIE that to know you.

'estee

okays.
REPLIES to taggers !!

lijin`its okay GIRL. (: I'll still go to school on thursday myself to buy. (: ehhs' open season? see how first? I give you my reply soon kkies?
moses`sharifah`joshephine`bemily`hui qi`lynn`thanks for relinking me! (:
stellion`hahs' cause it just happened to appear in my mind?
Jasmiine(:`hahahs' <3 you too! (:

heys people!
haven't been blogging for the weekends. =/
was just busy shopping shopping and more SHOPPING can! xP
hahas'yepps;
so let's start with the happenings! (:

Saturday
wells, woke up at around 10 plus?
was told to wake up and get ready to go shopping with mummy. ((:
yeahhs' and so me and jiejie went orchard to meet mummy.
who knows when we reach orchard already, mum is still in office. -.-''
how busy can she be?
yeahhs'
the FUNNY part of the trip was that when the train stopped by at simei, there was three empty seats, so jie jie went to sit down the middle part so that i can sit on the side.
but then this 50-60 year old plus auntie just sat down saying this in chinese:
dui bu qi! liang wei; which means, sorry! two persons.
since she was kinda old me and sister just let her lorz.
then after that, sis cracked this joke about her saying as if like she's in a restaurant.
LOL rights?
i mean like imagine the auntie saying until like that.
its like super LOL can!
then after that I kept on laughing non-stop for like 15sec?
then this boy looked at me like I just came out from IMH can.
so I just stopped laughing.
but at least, I didn't laughed like a HYENA can. =X

yepps;
so after that just went to orchard.
ate TORI-Q for lunch. xD
it was like JAPANESE CUISINE that whole day.
ate YOSHINOYA for dinner. =P
that's call LIFE. =D
and estee kho just has to appreciate her life now. (:
and mummy met us and went to TAKASHIMAYA to shop.
walk and walk..
in the end, I bought two three-quarter pants and an ELLE top.
talking about the top just wanna make me LAUGH.
it just has a story on how I got the top.
hahas' but don't wanna mention it lahs. =X
then yepps;
da-yi and pei xuan jie-jie joined us for dinner.
yeahhs! (:
that's all for that day. (;

Sunday
woke up and ate kway chap for breakfast cum lunch. (:
practically just chatted with the family. XD
dad went to play table-tennis.
yeahhs'
then was supposed to go tsern ting's house and yeahh' packed my bag and things.
met er-yi to go to IKEA! (:
it was HUGE.
decided on the things that we really wanna buy le. (:
it was sweet to be there. ^^
and yeahhs' here i am! (:
sweet and tiring day today. (:

'estee

Each day past with one word.
B-O-R-E-D-O-M!
oh please' there's nothing to do even on the computer.
and listening to the same piece of music each time, is gonna make me hate that song.
DAMN!
why isn't there activities? =/
just hope I can go tingting's house to stay as soon as possible!
and mummy! please go out this weekends!
your daughter is B-O-R-E-D to the CORE!
oh yeahhs' was supposed to go to school today for the learning of guy's instructors dance.
but woke up DAMN late so didn't go for the dance.
SORRY jiawen!

'estee

I don't know what I can do so that you can stop being JEALOUS.

I am really at a total lost.

both sides are ignoring me and not wanting to tell me anything.

what else can I say?

Just when I need someone to be there, no one can be there.

I'm better off alone and leave the two alone.

Since you both want it this way.

Not wanting to tell me a single thing how I can help.

I am just a nobody to both of you I guess.

'estee

you really disappoint me.

never thought that things would turn out this way.

how CRUEL and UNREASONABLE can you be?

one day you are FINE and the next,

you just turn your back on me.

If you really want things turn out this way and be left alone.

FINE!

Anyway you are not going to tell me what happened.

and I'd just leave it as it is.

I REALLY AM DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU.

'estee

HEY PEOPLE!
guess what?
I was searching some naruto videos at youtube then was kinda bored cause the com's lagging.
then I decided to search for videos about dmnchoir. and guess what i found? something that you guys out there won't wanna miss!
HAHAS!
its just FREAKING hilarious please!! ENJOY! (:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coNyYKOWZ6w
okay, wait.
let's just say you won't watch until you found out who is featured in.
presenting:
bryan FREEMAN.
moses THONG.
BOK chuan chun.
NG ding sheng.
okays. lets just name out the MAIN actors.
there! you really will have a GOOD laugh. (:

If you are My Love

Kiss me sweet

i'm sleeping in silence

all alone

in ice and snow

in my dream

im calling your name

you are my love

in your eyes

I search for my memory

lost in vain

so far in the scenery

hold me tight,

and swear again and again

we'll never be apart

If you could touch my feathers softly

I'll give you my love

we set sail in the darkness of the night

out to the sea

to find me there

to find you there

love me now

love me now

if you dare...

Kiss me sweet

i'm sleeping in sorrow

all alone

to see you tomorrow

in my dream

I'm calling your name

you are my love...

my love...

'estee

FINALLY!
was stranded outside just now.
forgot to bring keys then no one was at home.
had a bad headache.
and some KIND person send panadol and blanjah me water. ((:
thankyous lahhs! (:

yepps;
woke up like 9plus.
meet yuying at main gate for dance today.
practically never thought of any dance steps as I left earlier.
actually was to play basketball, in the end no one so forget it lors.
then riffin asked if i wanna join iffah they all to go BOWLING.
then i was like no money.
left 2 bucks can!
then debbie accompanied me to safra.
we intended to study de, since i already got the books from riffin. (:
yepps; ((:
played one game.
iffah help me pay $1.60 first.
so yeahhs' (: thanks GIRL.
will pay you back the next time I see you.

yeahhs'
STRIKE like ONCE.
and SPARE ONCE.
beginner only mahs.
so still okay lahhs.
and my score was like, SHIT.
sorry lahhs'
but i ain't that GOOD in BOWLING can.
practically just SUCKS.
okok' and yeahhs'
thanks DEBBIE for accompanying me anyways! (:
and that KIND person who delivered panadol to me. (;

'estee

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERI! (:

and I am SO GOING CRAZY! x/

'estee

`goingCRAZY. I SUCK.

Haven't been up and about these few days.
just watched finish Naruto episode 119 part 1.
guess I'm back to become naruto-addict now.
it has been ages since I watched naruto can!
yepps;
and so I will try hard to catch up. (;

anyways' watched one episode of tsubasa chronicles just now. (:
and it turned out NICE. (:
but of course naruto is still nicer. xP
this song is from tsubasa chronicles anyways.
fell in LOVE with this song when i heard it firstly.
its just simply soothing.
yupps; haven't been myself lately.
get irritated for small matters.
just wish I can just play basketball everyday.

and lynn, this post is for YOU my sweetie! (:
didn't felt like blogging at the first place. but in order not to make you disappointed, I shall just make do with it.
LOVE you SWEETIE! (:

disappoint-ments after another. `for everything that I've got; wish it would just disappear.

'estee

I just don't know how to say SORRY.

weiCHONG and shuTING go malaysia le.

I WILL miss them. =/

'estee

THANKS people for the CONCERN.
guess today's basketball, the dance and attendance of Miss Chin's wedding made me lots better.
CONGRATUALTIONS to miss chin and wish you and your huaband everlasting love! (:
P.S: though you don't really know me. =P
and yeahhs'
special THANKS to lynn, yuying and amanda with the concern at my tagboard.

wells' practically went to school yesterday in the morning for the dance.
learned the pair dance in less than an hour and people start coming in le.
then we started to dance.
I learned the guys part to teach jerome. (:
and anyways' sherry and carene are in charge of the girls part le.
so help jiawen with the guys part. (;

and so' the dance was practically almost too per-fect.
at the end of the day, almost everyone could dance the whole dance le.
but its a fact that quite a number of people didn't turn up yesterday.
so there's still more work.
but its both FUN and CUTE to teach the instructors.
they are like showing lots of enthusiasm in learning the dance. (:
like especially ZERLINA and IFFAH! xD

everyone was hype-up. =D
then afterwards was lunch at KFC with Jiawen, Zerlina, Amy, Kehua, Moses, Bryan, Angie, Joel and Alan. that's all rights?
yepps; it was ok-ay.
ate zinger.
but didn't quite enjoy my meal.
its like half the time there's something dropping onto my poor bag. =/
and yeahhs'
after that called kangqi and riffin to meet us at KFC .
the rest headed to spotlight to buy some wood for the sec-one orientation.
kangqi went home.
went to take the ball and met behind tampines primary the basketball court there.
and played.
the rest I don't wanna talk about it le.

and then today'
woke up at 09.50am.
was so LATE for the dance.
was supposed to meet at 10.00am.
yeahhs'
wore home clothes to school cause after that have to attend miss chin's wedding. (;
the feeling felt funny.
yeahhs'
played basketball after the wedding at the HDB flats near ESSO there.
wasn't as FUN as yesterday I supposed?
yeahhs' then nothing much happened already.

I'm SORRY for saying that word to you yesterday.

and SORRY again for not picking up your calls.

just didn't know how to answer you.

I'm SORRY.

'estee

its 2.01am.

guess after a sleep will make me feel much better.

`slowlyRECOVERINGfromEMOTIONALstate.

'estee

its 1.40am.

and I am still not back to my normal self.

what happened?

will I be stucked like this FOREVER?

LIFE-less?

I don't know.

`simply unstable.

'estee

you are SO NOT my FRIEND.

you are supposed to be there for me when I needed you.

and you just dampened my spirits even more.

please find out what even happened before talking to me.

you are someone that I don't know.

and I really don't understand how it became like that.

'estee

['theMOSTemotionalME']

It's 12.40am now.
the so not esteeKHO' now.

`the emptiness in her mind.

`the feelings mixed.

`the past returns.

`the mind confused.

`the hopes she hoped.

`the friend she had.

`the changed in him/her.

`the darkness within her.

`the differences between people.

`the expression on her face.

`the broken heart.

`the colours in her life.

`the lost in hyper-active.

`the fake smile.

'estee

I was DISAPPOINTED.

I am DISAPPOINTED.

and I will be DISAPPOINTED.

'estee

Friends;

do they ever EXIST in this world?

some are just ain't worth to be troubled over.

For what they do and say will be FOREVER be remembered.

you trusted them that they will be by your side,

and support you in whatever you do.

but only to your DISAPPOINTMENT that they aren't what they are.

they are just someone that you don't need to get on your life.