& ESTEE WILL BE AWAY!

so people, please keep the tagboard tagging away~!

so i'll know who missed me! ^^

haha! kidding' (:

so i'll be off real soon.

till then, withh.lovee!♥

`x estee x`

BYEBYE! :D
okay, if anything happens to Estee Kho Xiao Juan.
open mysilent-sayings to read my before-death note!
hahaha! :P
BYE PEEPOS! ^^

`x estee x`

do you know what can negligence cause?
repugnance.
rebelliousness.
rejection.
if come one day you find me ignoring you,
don't blame me.
have yourself to blame.
cause i abhor you,
for neglecting me.

i just fucking can't stand your attitude towards me, towards my closed ones.
even if you're my kin, i don't even feel it at all.
you had given me the most depressing childhood by not doing your part as who you are.
your selfishness and all is the consequences.

musical extravaganza was (: !
just some idiot beside me can't appreciate music and kept whining. =x
hahaha! :D
so big'sissy came my house before the meeting time.
prepared and meet the rest at small mac.
saw the seniors at MRT/VCH.

went in and saw quite a few people! :)
hmm, so before the concert started,
played psp with papa.
yes, the 'idiot' beside me! :)
okay, so he isn't an idiot!
a good friend/father/caller/conference partner! :D

yeah, so after concert iris and bryan wanna use the toilet.
so, off to fullerton!
hahaha! (:
train-ed back.
the gang(Han,Iris,Bryan,Kok,Sher,Mark,HanWen,Jerr) went to T3 to makan.
Jerr went to meet his dad who's coming back from Hong Kong!
daddy's boy! :D , nah kidding!
yeah, leaving me back to tampines cause i was quite tired out! :/
but when reached simei decided to call Zer.
she dao me that evening! :/ so thought she angry with me.
lol, but no -.-' .

drank doublechocolate(yum yum! :P) and went home first.
then when home-ed, showered & bang *sleeps like a pig!* ! :)

yep, okay.
so i should really be getting on with my IPW.
MISS LOCK, please pick up your damn phone! ):

`x estee x`

♥more than a thousand words can say.

a night really get to keep the emotions away. :)

`x estee x`

talking/bitching session with goodie was really (:
at least for once this week,
i really feel that there's someone who understands,
after so long.
ohmygod, this is like so deja vu!
feel like the scene that i am writing this post happened before.

right, so the feeling now is so shitty.
cause its like, misunderstandings and miscommunication are screwing my life up.
and whatever is it, its always my fault.
is it wrong that world peace is all i ask for?
why must there be hatred?
like i know, its part and parcel of life.

have you ever thought that your words can be really hurtful at times.
at least when i'm sorry, i apologised.
even if you're not happy on how the way i said it,
but at least i apologised.
even if i said in a tone that you don't like.
at least for what i think now, you didn't even realise or feel remorse at all.
this is really purely what i think.
but really, even if i was at fault, is it always mine?
a friendship that was once so close and treasured.
yes, you're very happy now.
i can see that, and i don't intend to disrupt this happy life of yours.
i am just sad, sad to know that this is the end, the end of a friendship that was so close.
but now the memories seem so distant.

really, i'm glad that you're very happy now.
maybe to you i've changed so much,
but yes, you can't deny that you changed too.
taking up leadership position is really tough,
and it definitely makes one change.
at least, i realised that i am changing every second.
yes, every moment.
my moodswings are getting too drastic.
sometimes, there's this side of me that is earning my freedom,
a life of how i want to lead.
then there's this side of me that will want to not care about everything,
school rules, character, the way i speak/portray myself.

life is so difficult now that i can just go high at one point and do things that i ain't supposed to.
its so difficult to be partial, and do what is right always.
okay, a vice-chairman is supposed to instill discipline and maintain the class in order.
yes, when i'm really in a clear state of mind, i follow what that is really right.
but sometimes, there's a tendency of breaking the principles that we're supposed to follow when i ain't thinking properly.
we aren't supposed to eat/drink in class,
and i did that yesterday.
yes, what kind of vice-chair i am?
let me tell you,
A SHITTY ONE.

and what's the use of feeling remorseful after the incident?
people wouldn't understand, and it just makes people even despise me even more.
some may feel that i'm trying to gain sympathy by drowning myself in self-pity.
honestly, i feel like giving up.
but will it solve the problem?
i shouldn't even be thinking about it.
cause if i were to be a girl who keeps thinking negatively and always choose to give up as an option,
i won't ever go far in life.

okay, i'm going to stop before it gets never-ending.
so i shall just do it this way :

To the People that I've offended in anyway,
I am sincerely sorry, but sometimes, I really can't control myself. I earnestly apologise to everyone of you out there. Yes, scold me pathetic for all you want, cause I want to start a whole new life where its just peace in my own world. Cause its never possible to make peace with everyone.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[EDITED TEN MINUTES AFTER]
Mark is right.
SO,
I am gonna live my life like it is!
spreadthehappylove!

`x estee x`

150308 ; swissotel :)

♥lovedpicoftheday! :)

the nice nice toilet! ^^

jieyi so cute lah! :D

green.♥.pink!
♥
jerome♥
camwhore-rs.
♥
withh.muchh.lovee♥
he's the song in the car i keep singing donno why i do ♥
scenic view from the 52nd floor! :)
the eye! :)
esplanade!
scenicview#2!

Care & Share Day in e Morning!

YY♥

Teresa♥
Dionis:)
Iris♥
see how 1C pupils can be! :D
:)
GAIA CONCERT! :)

BELOVEDCONFERENCEPARTNER♥

Tracy♥ Iris♥
Big'Sis Leonie Tracy ♥
( Joycelyn & Debbie being blocked ): ! )
DmnChoir™♥

thanks for the memories!♥

`x estee x`

yes, i am sick, like again! ):
but still managed to drag myself out of bed this morning.
march holidays were all worn out with choir everyday.
but it has been a joy!
wednesday was choir with the whole choir! :)
concert's coming up up up! :D
and yes, its 21st tomorrow.
Band/Guitar/String's Concert!
someone from 4C's gonna play marriage d' amour using a guitar!
*SCREAMS*

so gonna meet kangqi and han they all!
& YES, MARK WENG THAT EMO RETARDED BOY ALSO!
you better turn up ah!
sms ya the details later! (;
seriously, i look forward to tomorrow!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yes, and last friday!
GAIA CONCERT!
its not that cold anymore, with so many people absorbing the heat! :)
performed Can You Feel & Kasar!
fun fun day!
pictures up next post! :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
o.O, just talked to brother about things that are happening in choir!
okay, back to the blogging track.
care & share day!
i think archery went well! ^^
good job everybody! :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
starting of this week was a real drag.
more to mood-less.
common tests results are way too depressing.
it just suck big time okay!
I FREAKING FAILED MY LANGUAGES!
and i concluded :
I CAN'T STUDY WEEKS WAY BEFORE EXAMS!
cause practically, it proves that all that studying went down the drain.
& yes, PHYSICS WAS A BOOM!
chem,geog & a math were expected.
but SO NOT E MATH & PHYSICS!
and seriously, I am just contented with my Social Studies.
9 was the highest, but so what?
my others were like tremendously hopeless!
even animation passed with a sucky grade.
its just the high expectations that cease with dissatisfaction! :/

Mrs Fong is really a nice and encouraging teacher!
"You should not feel discouraged but you may feel sad!"
I was really really disheartened with my physics,
thinking that it can actually pull my combined science marks since chem was not too far from the passing grade!
but Mrs Fong words were really encouraging that it smack me off the discouragement!
I feel so guilty for not working hard enough!

AND SPEAKING OF BEING GUILTY,
I FEEL EVEN WORST WHEN I SEE MR LEE!
I almost cried in front of him on monday when I see him for Animation.
in fact, my eyes were really watery and i was pouring my woes out to yuying!
Mr Lee, if you ever happen to see this,
I AM REALLY SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU! :/
I promise I'll pull my socks up for mid year!
sorry:\!

`x estee x`

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN
BIG'SIS! :D
one year older, one year wiser.
can watch NC 16.
can buy your prepaid card!
LOL.
must grow one year taller okay! :)
i am sure you will!

&youaremuchmuchmuchlovedwithmanymanymanyloves♥

`x estee x`

today was just... :/
rehersals did not go well.
made far too many mistakes,
just don't know why can't concentrate.

then reached school,
headed to market for dinner.
ate yong tau foo with sher,bryan & hanwen.
the rest ate at Mr.Prata.

i'm feeling so crappy now.
goodnightbye.

`x estee x`

STEP UP TWO - THE STREETZ
ROCK SOCKS MAN! :D

&

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO
LDC aka SOH KOK LEONG!

overall yesterday was a very very fun day!
of course the best part was the later part in the evening.

woke up at 6plus 7 and got ready to walk to school.
meet Mr.Sim at the atrium at around 8.
I was punctual! :)
then followed by MingWhee.

my first job was to photocopy one whole stack of 'Dunman Care&Share Day' flyers!
oh, just a small advert ;
ALL ARE WELCOME TO DUNMAN SECONDARY ON 15th MARCH from 9-3pm WITH YOUR BIG BIG FAMILY FOR A FUN & WACKY SATURADAY! *i supposed it's fun:D!*

back to the track, after that more people came and they're supposed to cut the A4 into half.
right, so some went to give around and blah blah blah.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
met Iris for lunch.
headed to market to get her scores zapped out.
bought bubble tea,
then headed to the food court for vegetarian bee hoon.
riffin came a while later then we sent Iris back to school cause she has sectionals at one.
then pick up kangqi.
she wanna eat prata.
so off we went back to Mr.Prata.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
went back to school,
and choir.
mr toh didn't come,
so sectionals from 1430 to 1600.
combined after that.
was much more 'alive'. :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
after choir, chiong to riffin's house to get the cake.
wooo~ walk under rain.
the cake is like uber cute lah!
shall post it up, that is if i remember to.
lighted the candle around the netball area there.
we walked from there to the atrium with the 'lighted' cakes.
the candles 放我么飞机 (flew our aeroplane !) last minute! ):
but nevermind.
its like so cute!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
headed to food junction for dinner.
ate sweet and sour chicken rice:D!
didn't feel hungry at first,
but when i take the first bite,
its like my stomach is growling. =O
crazy digestive system. ):
oh, saw yanni and elroy!
and we were talking about, *uh hum* (laughs with iffah:D !)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
step up two with Jerome, Zerlina, Iffah, Riffin, Kangqi, Jerrold, Kok Leong, Shermaine, Bryan & Iris after dinner.
i swear its like so damn nice.
never regret to change from leap years to step up two.
its like after the movie,
you'll feel like groovin' it out at the dance floor.

hah! talking bout' that,
i was feeling jumpy after the movie.
so when we were walking to the various bus stops at the interchange,
i was jumping up and down.
then one time, zerlina jumped once.
twice, zerlina jumped twice.
thrice, zerlina followed.
SO DAMN CUTE LAH! :DDDDD

lol, a truly hilarious memorable day to remember!

`x estee x`

Food @ Old Airport Road Hawker Centre! :)

yes, this is the famous wantan mee there! but seriously, i don't know what's so nice about it! =x

Rating : 6/10

Rojak! Oh my god! I am seriously crazy over rojaks. Its like so heavenly! This rojak is not bad! :) Located at the right end of the hawker centre!

Rating : 8/10

Crocodile Soup! Dad's hook onto it even since the second time we've been there! and we've been there thrice! so the second and third time he ate this. My first reaction was like Ewww! but the soup isn't that bad though! and its healthy for lots of our body parts! :)

Rating : 7/10

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am so dead! but this photo is like super hilarious lah! oopps! =x

& there you have me mugging the notes out of my brain for animatioN! :D

`x estee x`

yesterday was just plain boring.
but it eventually got better in the evening!
headed down to east coast lagoon for dinner, again! :D
i queued for half an hour or so for my duck rice,
but it did not let me down!
i gulped down the whole plate in less than 5mins(: !
its just simply mouth-watering! ^^

after dinner strolled along east coast park! C:
nice night walk.
then headed home,talked to riffin, internet with psp and *boom*,
off to bed!

surprised to wake up at 9plus this morning.
and even more surprised to see my hands packing my *uh hum* book-sy dusty table.
just imagine the heap of books that i brought home... to mess. :/
let's just say its end of spring-cleaning!
wakakakaka! :D
alright, photos update next up! :)

`x estee x`

a remorse yet hurt day.

i've already apologised.

that's all, if this is what you want.

`x estee x`

you're really pissing me off with your 'uncalled for' actions.

don't even breathe another word of your so called 'so many commitments'.

cause its gonna make me blow the whole matter up,

just wait and see.

what a freaking pissed off day,

kathy ; its definitely named as a "F" day! (;

`x estee x`

NOW PLAYING :

Colbie Caillat -

Realize♥.

here for a minute and gone in a second :) !

`x estee x`

its twelve! :)
have been studying combined science ever since 10 in the morning.
sort of 75% of physics and 25% of chemistry though.
so it shall be combined science today,
combined humanities tomorrow.
of course a lil' practice on amath and emath.
oh crap, indices worksheet! :/
i don't like indices!
its like making me blur with all the base, power, square root, cube root...

so received onetwothree calls from Mr.Lee yesterday and one this morning.
something(which i don't know what) regarding 3D animation is gonna happen on monday.
there goes another percentage of stress to withstand. o.O

meeting yuying later at one to bus down to TP(my future/dream poly! :D).
some of the other animation students will be there too!
cause we are naughty kids who go for enriching musicals for animation and neglect our 'oh-so-important'(okay, it is really important:/) common tests this upcoming week!
but there are pros and cons for this decision.
the animated musical might most probably pull my grades up for animation,
and cause a serious downfall in my other subjects.

english and vocab test on marvellous monday.
combined science/humanities on terrorized tuesday.
chinese/e.math on wacky wednesday.
animation on terrific thursday.
a.math on freaky friday.

right, lame. on second thought, maybe by those words can show how i am gonna score for that paper! ):
i am so gonna get scolded and nagged at by thinking that way.
its like half the better is lost!
so, stay positive Estee Kho Xiao Juan! :D
okay, gotta prepare for now.
might blog again later about the musical! ;)

`x estee x`