till the day you realise the whole story behind it.

it will be too late.

just too too late.

the friendship left its just a tiny bit of glass.

the glass is being used to cut one self.

cause its just so hurtful.

the scars will remain i promise.

it ain't a joke.

neither it is a lie.

for the strokes are deeply severed right into the heart.

the heart of a emotional girl.

myendless-sayings; `such beautiful severed scars.` &itsTRUE.

`x 'estee x`

moodless.

speechless.

PEACE.

but.

still.

moodLESS.

`x 'estee x`

first thing first.

I wanna say I'm sorry to JudaxiL.
I should have kept that post within myself.

but I seriously didn't mean to shoot you.

cause seriously i just feel sad for davin.

but its all over.

i'm not gonna care about it.

and people please don't misinterpret my posts.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO SHOOT HER AND MAKE IT
SOUND AS IF SHE'S SO EVIL.

SORRY JUDAXIL!

`x 'estee x`

ZzzZ

so little people come.

sian dao!

jerome's cake.

`mocha chocolate(:

sweet. ^^

weijie's cake.

`mango fruit(:

yum-yum!

went to pray gong-gong this morning.

had difficulty to wake up this morning. x/

was freaking tired lahhs.

cause didn't sleep well the night before.

*er-hem*

yeahhs;

wells,

toodles`

myendless-sayings; direct me the way to understand you.

; &its impossible you dumb.

`x 'estee x`

myendless-sayings; its just my fantasy world.

I choose to do what I want to do.

just don't worry about me my mummy, ah-mahs and dahling.

sad to say, I've to break your promise for not doing that "thing" again.

I'm sorry.

just don't care alrights?

your dear baby/dahling is gonna be jus FINE.

thanks so much for your deepest concerns.

but she just have to disappoint you all.

`sorry.

myendless-sayings; she hopes to let go of that hurt inside her, but how?

`x 'estee x`

and people please don't make any un-necessary comments.

whatever it is, you can just keep it to yourselves.

whatever I'd said in my previous, post I was really being FORCED to say out.

cause its really really hurting inside of me.

`x 'estee x`

I have just nothing to say.

you think I cry is because you scold me?

HELL, NO!

why is it that people like zerlina and kehua can understand but not YOU?

RIFFIN!

I have the right to give up this friendship rights?

do you know that how she treated me from the very beginning?

did you know that she despised me?

did you know that she HATES me for coming into her life?

did you know that she TALKS BEAHIND MY BACK and be so NICE to me.

I'm sorry JudaxiL for saying all these out.

but admit it.

YOU WERE MORE MEAN TO ME THAN I WAS.

cause whatever I said, I have PROOF and WITNESS.

but did I take it to heart?

I just pretended that I didn't know.

so RIFFIN, why must you make me do things against my will?

and please I was sad yesterday is not only because of JudaxiL.

its also because of another matter can!

and you just scold me until so harsh.

WHEN THE MAIN REASON THAT I'M SAD

IS ACTUALLY BECAUSE OF ANOTHER MATTER.
and now what happens?

you go around telling people that you scold me like that only then I cry.

whatever.

I need people who UNDERSTANDS me and not people who

MADE ME CRY and doesn't feel guilty at all cause he don't understand a single thing.

thanks for whatever you'd helped me.

I KNOW YOU ALL CARE.

BUT.

waiting for you to understand me its really like waiting for rain in this DROUGHT.

USELESS&DISAPPOINTED. T.T

did you know I was feeling VERY VERY VERY MISERABLE

when you just didn't care how I felt when you actually say all those?

`x 'estee x`

lynn` thanks for tagging.
iris` thanks for tagging too.
lemon` nope. just wished him. I still not bankrupt yet lahs.
death™` no war. world peace. nothing's gonna happen. I not caring anymore. I'd just shut up.
blurtingx` i don't think lijin will be so bad to kill me.
iris` I am not saying anything anymore. estee loves iris too!
Dawg` I don't wish to settle anything. I DON'T WANNA CARE! and its okay. you ALL meant well.
iris` okays. I will check it out. <3
HWEESZE<33`hellos. thanks.

sorry people for not having any expressions.
estee's really not in the mood for anything now.
its just simply emotional.
thanks for your kind understanding.

sometimes I really want to thrash it all out.

clear all the "misunderstandings".

but its no use anymore.

really no use.

I didn't do anything.

`x 'estee x`

I don't wish to say anything anymore.

From today onwards, I am OFFICIALLY OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

so you don't have to care about my presence.

thank you for your cooperation.

actually have lots to say.

but I really really really have no mood to say anything.

byes.

`x 'estee x`

heyheys peeps!

happy lunar new year! (x

thanks to the people who wished me.

its really too many le.

so can't list out.

but most of all i wanna say happy new year to my beloved LAOGONG!(:

zerlina! XD

for wishing me three times?

yepps; (;

today went to er-gu gu house around 3plus?

ate late lunch and chatted.

blah blah blah.

then afterwards proceeded to ma-ma's house.

did nothing much there though.

hahas'

but someone did accompanied me throughout.

thanks! (:

nights everyone then.

photos would be up when i recieve them from yiing.

toodles`

and enjoy your new year! (;

`x 'estee x`

its Chinese New Year Eve le!

and its Chinese New Year tomorrow.

time really flies.

its going to be end feburary soon.

three people's birthday is coming.

-doreen's.

-tracy's.

-jerome's.

and today's yi kai ge-ge b'day.

hahas' (:

li jin got give him a sweet prezzie mahs? =X

hmms'

ONEe'06 had a class gathering yesterday.

couldn't make it cause got choir. x/

and choir, mr toh didn't come and sectional leaders were asked to audit us.

somehow it didn't went well for me. x/

its okay.

i've tried my best. (:

its okay not to be in SYF.

yeahhs'

after choir accompanied dahling IRIS to her 29 bus-stop.

chatted with her.

it was sweet and nice.

thanks dahling for the good chat. (;

then proceeded to the canteen to look for jerome.

saw vanda and doreen.

then doreen suddenly feel my hand very hot.

then they say i got fever. -.-''

i was feeling alright lahs.

then one by one they come down.

then amy they all began to feel my temperature.

and conclusion: FEVER.

then jerome came down and doreen told him.

felt and also say i got FEVER. -.-''

so i just anything and then go home lor.

then reach home then began to feel sick. x/

don't know why so sudden.

till now still got fever.

and having a slight headache too.

its CNY tomorrow GOD!

help me!

sighh'

then had to listen to all the craps and such.

felt even more SICK.

aww, CRAP. x/

headache is worsening now. x/

guess shall end here then.

nights`

and to all HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

suprisingly; who'd ever thought that you'd actually change.

`x 'estee x`

Horoscope for the day. (:

Gemini-21st May-21st June

The Bottom Line
Take a break from people who rub you the wrong way. Check back with them later.

In Detail
There have been too many misunderstandings going on in your social circle lately, and this could be holding you back from relaxation. You have two choices today: you can either get face-to-face with the person who's confusing you and finally get to the bottom of things, or move on to a different set of social partners for a while. There's nothing wrong with taking a break from people who are rubbing you the wrong way. You can always come back to them later if you want to.

`x 'estee x`

okays.

today started off with a bad morning.

woke up at 0720hr!

arghh!

LATE LE! T.T

so faster rush and prepare.

by the time reach school at 0755hr.

sobs! T.T

and kenneth was asking why so "early"?!

idiotic. -.-''

and choir was sweet.

just for the AUDITIONS!

sarba dance was smooth.

no scoldings today. (:

that's all for today.

`toodles. (;

`x 'estee x`

the only last wish;

grant my wish dearest.

`x 'estee x`

I have lost the will and the strength.

I am just too TIRED to carry on.

`byebye-.

alliwanted; the end of me` LOST.

`x 'estee x`

inside is feeling weird.

just weird.

taking time to sort out my thoughts.

why is it so empty?

`emptiness fills the heart with endless thoughts.

*think =

*thinks x

*thinking :

`x 'estee x`

changed blogskin finally! (:
wanting to find a suitable skin and the suitable time.

and finally i managed to really sit down and relax.

wells, today's bazzar wasn't really a success I suppose.

it wasn't really that smooth.

shift 9am-1030am.

and then faster run le.

finally one burden was lifted off.

now to concentrate on studies and choir.

wells' went to hanwen house just now to practice the choir songs.

and we managed to go through all the songs. (:

oh yeahhs'

took photos with joycelyn, iris, weichong, leon they all.

So KAWAII!

hahas' xD

never took with them before except for weichong.

and dahling iris is gonna send em' to me!

thanks DAHLING! =D

let's see.

not going to report a short post today.

i wanna be LONG-winded.

hehex. XP

sighh'

everyone's partying and having fun at the concert now.

and pitiful me is here blogging.

wells, blogging is not a pitiful thing.

but i WILL miss out lotsa FUN and EXCITEMENT.

T.T

MYGOD! just changed my blogskin and then realised it was actually the same as ZERLINA!

awww!

SHIT!

must re-do le.

T.T

arghhH!

so angry with myself.

guess I am just too TIRED.

SORRY once again!

`too tired to think about anything. you get what I mean?

`x 'estee x`

changed blogskin finally! (:

wanting to find a suitable skin and the suitable time.

and finally i managed to really sit down and relax.

wells, today's bazzar wasn't really a success I suppose.

it wasn't really that smooth.

shift 9am-1030am.

and then faster run le.

finally one burden was lifted off.

now to concentrate on studies and choir.

wells' went to hanwen house just now to practice the choir songs.

and we managed to go through all the songs. (:

oh yeahhs'

took photos with joycelyn, iris, weichong, leon they all.

so KAWAII!

hahas' xD

never took with them before except for weichong.

and dahling iris is gonna send em' to me!

thanks DAHLING! =D

let's see.

not going to report a short post today.

i wanna be LONG-winded.

hehex. XP

sighh'

everyone's partying and having fun at the concert now.

and pitiful me is here blogging.

wells, blogging is not a pitiful thing.

but i WILL miss out lotsa FUN and EXCITEMENT.

T.T

MYGOD! just changed my blogskin and then realised it was actually the same as ZERLINA!

awww!

SHIT!

must re-do le.

T.T

arghhH!

so angry with myself.

went to her blog yesterday some more lahhs!

then forget how the skin looks like.

SOBS!

it took me so long!

will try to change it soon.

sorry ZERLINA!

didn't mean to have the same blogskin as you.

guess I was too muddlehead-ed.

`sorry again! T.T

`x 'estee x`

okay.

it really has been ages i blogged.

oppsie.

sorry! =X

and so many things happened?

`new furniture.

`new computer.

`new cca.

`campus superstar, yuyang, came to dunman today.

`he sang two songs; one is my bloggie song.

blah blah blah ...

just so many things is happening that is making me like busy?

SYF auditions next week.

haiz. x/

have to sing all THREE songs.

which i am really gonna be dead for.

okays.

shall end here le.

nighties`.