Nothing to say.

I officially have nothing to say.

`x estee x`

Insomnia.

It's five in the morning and I'm still wide awake...
Someone please tell me why I'm suffering from insomnia?
Haven't been feeling right since Wednesday.
There's just this empty feeling that I can't express.
Took a walk just now at 2200hrs cause I feel I can no longer suppress the emotion within.
Asked brother if he was hungry and gave an excuse to go out to buy something to eat for him.
I claimed I was hungry too, but it was just a claim.
Just needed a breather from this fatiguing period.

I've become so numb till the point that it does not matter anymore.

`x estee x`

Everytime We Touch <3

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go
I want you in my life

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go
I want you in my life

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

`x estee x`

Inspired

It's two in the morning and I can't sleep!
And I need to wake up at 0830hrs to meet papa cause he's teaching me chem.
Then at 1300hrs there's e math consultation with Mr Wong.
But I really can't sleep, oh man. :/

In this peaceful time of the night,

led me on wondering the bewildering twilight.

The silent whispers stayed through all night,

only to mislead my remaining souls for the fight.

`x estee x`

Complain!

Grah, I wanna complain about the NLB's Customer Service.
I called SBS Transit up to report my loss of ez-link card and the CS officer kindly checked if anyone returned to card even when I don't expect her to.
She even kindly reminded me to phone up the NLB so that no one will pick up my card and use it to borrow any library books.
Her service just so excellent.

But that stupid NLB CS officer had this sucky impatient attitude.
Wth? So this is how they treat their customers?
Instead of pitying my sorry plight,
she used that irritated tone.
How ironic can life be?

`x estee x`

I don't know?

I don't know why I'm feeling sad all of a sudden.

`x estee x`

WHO SAYS CHOIR PEOPLE CAN'T DANCE? :D

WHO SAYS CHOIR PEOPLE CAN'T DANCE? :D

Oh my god, I'm very sure the whole gang of us felt a really huge sense of achievement today!
We managed to complete the whole dance of 4 minutes within three sessions?
Beat that man! :P
But there's still a lot of space of improvisation so yeah we aren't just stopping here!
Hehe! Seriously I can't wait for Farewell!

Hopefully we won't disappoint our seniors!
I'm very sure it'll turn out just perfect! :D
Six whole hours of dance today was just fantabulous.

Okay, talking about farewell stirs up a lot of emotions within me.
Hello? We're talking about people like Big'sissy, Papa, LDC, Brotherrrr, BCP, Patient, Teddy Bear and so many more! :/
Oh but hehe, I saw teddy bear today! :D
Ah, I don't wanna emo!
So good night bloggy :)

依然想着你,你知道吗?

`x estee x`

231108 ; Tania's Farewell :D

`x estee x`

16th Nov - 25 Nov

I really can't believe I still can't find the time to blog even though it's the holidays! :/
How pathetic...!
But well oh well, life's been really fulfilling and great I suppose! :)
Choir has ceased from today till the 16th!
So I will be less busy from singing and more busy on my studies and the dance for farewell!
Immediately after Choir stopped and there's gonna be a date with Mr Wong tomorrow!
He's such a joker can!
Mr Tan caught sight of Iris and me dancing at the second level of the Indoor Sports Hall building from the basketball court and I immediately noticed that!
Hah! Obviously I stopped and went forth, saw Mr Wong. :)

Me: Mr Wong! You tomorrow freeeee?
Him: Tomorrow ah, why? You want to date me ah?
Me: Ya ya ya...

And then I'm having a date with him tomorrow morning at 9! :D
I am such a hardworking girl, like real!
Oh my god, I really don't deserve this chance cause I'm not even studying well for the tests! :/
Seeing Shaun putting so much effort, well at least it's a great improvement for him :D , makes me feel so guilty of myself!
Even though I've been consulting Mr Wong E Math, Miss Koh Geog, but I still have my Combined Sciences and Social Studies!
And A Math next year... :/ !
Big'sissy, Papa and Patient is helping me with Chem, EM/Phy & AM respectively!
Oh and today Iris offered to help me with my studies too!
I feel so touched by all their kindness to help me can! ):
I must really buck up and tune into the right attitude and mindset!

Right so I'm suppose to continue blogging what happened last week.
Recalling back real hard, this is a brief summary of last week...

Monday : Dance Practice in the morning, TMC a lil' while in the afternoon, Audition in the late afternoon/evening at MC.

Tuesday : E Math consultation and Choir in the afternoon! Didn't attend sectionals for E Math.

Wednesday : Sectionals in the morning, Dance Practice in the afternoon at Music Room...Great achievement - One minute of the song done! :D

Thursday : Geog tuition at Miss Koh's house in the morning then Home Sweet Home. Lost my wallet - don't know if I dropped it on the bus...but I remembered relatively well that I took it out from my flooded bag. =\

Friday : Sectionals in the morning, Choir in the afternoon - Sat in for choir was the lump thingy and ear was really painful, throat was pretty awful too :/ !

Saturday : Tania's Farewell party in the afternoon :D

Sunday : Studied Geog and did very very very lil'bit of E Math!

Yesterday was a day well-spent at ECP!
D'Leaders Seminar'08 was a once-in-a-lifetime experience man!
Sandcastle building in the morning, Seminar in the afternoon till evening at OBS Camp Site (ECP)
Oh my god, there isn't any OBS this year! ):
Thought it could be one camp that I can go, cause I never attended a camp in my entire life!
Not a single one...! :/
But yeah, I really had fun! No regrets man Buddaye! (;

Sectionals in the morning and Choir in the afternoon again!
White Horses is nice, but the difficulty level is enough to kill me!
Dance practice in the afternoon tomorrow, oops I mean later.
So yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It's been 13 days since I last saw you, and I wonder how have you been...imy.

`x estee x`

14th&15th & F*ed up.

So I've been working on the Grad Day slide show for the Graduates of year 2008! :)
And on 14th November was the big big day and evening for them! :D
Had lots of fun with Buddaye at Prom Night '08!
Got to see beloved people like Big'Sissy, Papa, Prom King, BCP, LDC, Brotherrrr, Teddy Bear, etc.. all in their gowns/tux/suits! :D
They really look glam and hip!
"Pop Stars Go Red" was the theme of the night,
but not many cared about the theme I guess!
But what really mattered is that they enjoyed every bits and pieces of it!

Then on 15th Nov was Dunman's BIG BIG day! :)
Helped out at the Animation booth in the morning for the Open House for Sec One Enrollment next year! :D
Then lunch-ed with Sho, nice nice junior :D
Headed back to school for Farewell F&B meeting at 1pm!
Sectionals followed on at 3pm!
Then combined at 5.30pm at AVT!
Warm-ups and Mr Toh came.
Sang all the nice old songs....awwww nostalgic memories! ):
Nonono, no moodswing ! :D
Okay, so it was our time to storm the stage! :)
Performance was really well done! :D
Mac-ed after that with Sec Threes & Teresa, Viven and Sandra! :D

Okay, that's practically what happened on the 14th and 15th.
I was feeling like this - :D just now.
But now, it's this - :/ & >;(
Ha ha ha, & I'm reminded to blog about this:
ME & MY SILBINGS ARE DEAD! HA HA HA!

`x estee x`

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

Oh my god, I feel so out from the blogging world! :/
Phone's been pretty crazy these days...
And I'm still pretty busy these days.

sec three meeting, farewell, consultations, studies, choir, sectionals...
I still haven't blog about prom, x.x
Oh and valerie, as you can see my phone's pretty screwed, so I'm sorry for making you freaked out...
I've left Mr Wong's no. on your msn so yeah.

Right, I need my sleep now.
Sectionals at 0930hrs tomorrow.
Lunch with WC, Han & Iffahhhh at 1230hrs?
Sec three meeting at 1430hrs.
I'm gonna survive. :)

hello beautiful, it's been a long time since I last saw you... & I miss you so.

`x estee x`

M.I.A

Prom Night'08 was a blast!
More further details soon!

; Emath-ing! :)

`x estee x`

Mood Swings

I feel tired all of a sudden.
I feel dumb all of a sudden.
I feel numb all of a sudden.
I feel a tinge of emo-ness all of a sudden.
.
.
.
But all in time, I know you'll always be there when I need you.

`x estee x`

Katilyn Mayher :D

*SCREAMS* OH MY GODDDDD!
ZERLINAAAAAA, SHE'S SO CUTEEEE! :D

`x estee x`

Quiz ;)

I have no idea why I keep repeating this quiz,
But since Celia is waiting for it,
So be it! :)

Name 20 people :

1. Celia
2. Jerome
3. Desmond
4. Riffin
5. Teresa
6. Kang Qi
7. Tracy
8. Bryan
9. Kathy
10. Yu Ying
11. Yi Jia
12. Delia
13. Ying Heng
14. Wai Yan
15. Titus
16. Gordon
17. Priscilla
18. Christy
19. Judaxil
20. Lynn

How did you meet #4? (Riffin)
- Ha! Through Judaxil. (:

What would you do if you never met #1? (Celia)
I guess I'll not get the feeling of loving a lil'sissy! :/

What if #9 and #20 date? (Kathy and Lynn)
- Ha! They're not lesbians! :)

Will #6 and #17 date? (Kang Qi and Priscilla)
- They're not lesbians too! :)

Describe #3. (Desmond)
- I've got so much to say! But I'm not saying anything! :P

Is #8 attractive? (Bryan)
- Brother says he's not handsome, just charming, and I agree! ^.^

Describe #7. (Tracy)
- She's the best BCP you can ever get! (:

Do you know any of #12 family members? (Delia)
- Seraaaaaa, my cute cute junior! (:

What if #18 confess that he likes me? (Christy)
- She's a 'her', not a 'he'. She's my angel! Of course she loves me! :D

Would you ever date #1? (Celia)
- Why not, as I said, I love her more than anyone elses does! :D [I'm not a lesbo, fyi.]
[Same sentiments as her!]

Is #19 single? (Judaxil)
- Obviously yes! :D

What language does #15 speaks? (Titus)
- English, English and only English! Aha! Titus Chew speaks bad Chinese and He's not taking Chinese! :)

Who goes out with #9 normally? (Kathy)
- So many! Her boyfriend, YY, Me, Delia, Wai Yan...

How old is #16? (Gordon)
- 15! (:

#2 Favourite singer? (Jerome)
- He doesn't have any I guess? He likes songs by songs, and now its 'Hey Beautiful' by Jonas Brothers! x3

Would you ever date #4? (Riffin)
- Nope, He has his girl and I have my boy! :)

What is #10 last name? (Yu Ying)
- Ying? Ha!

Would you ever be in a relationship with #11? (Yi Jia)
- Nope, She's a girl! Besides, someone will kill me! :p

Where is #3 schooling? (Desmond)
- 德明中学 Dunman Secondary School! :D

Where does #6 lives? (Kang Qi)
- Tampines (:

What's your favourite things about #5? (Teresa)
- She's my beloved boyfriend/lil'altee! Everything about her is my favourite! ^.^

#2 naked before? (Jerome)
- Half-naked, Yes way! He's my brother! Loooooooool! =p

Tag 5 people to do this quiz, :
1) Anyone who wants to do this.
2) Anyone who wants to do this.
3)Anyone who wants to do this.
4) Anyone who wants to do this.
5) Anyone who wants to do this.

`x estee x`

My Cutest Boyfriend <3

This post is specially dedicated to my cutest boyfriend,
Teresa Yeap! :D

Hello Lil'altee/Bf :)
Many months have past ever since you step in Dunman as a cute Sec One!
Now, you're gonna be in Sec Two and a senior in Altos already!
Hehe, it's really nice to see you grow so much!
*pokes pokes*
Thanks for being such a nice, sweet, mature junior!
& for always being there for me! :D
Love ya to the bitssssssssssssssssssssss! <3

`x estee x`

Happy Birthday / <3seniors.

Happy Birthday elmo lalala! :D

Today was a really long long long day.
All that I know is that I woke up at 0505hrs and it's 2240hrs.
And that means I've been awake for 17 hours 40 mins.
And I won't get to sleep soon,
unless I don't care about my E Math homework & the Powerpoint slide.

But seriously, I don't think I've the mind and strength to move an inch on the computer anymore! :/
But nevertheless, it's a happy happy happy day today! :)
Dinner after choir was F-A-N-T-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!
But .................................
lalala, it's all explained on the other blog Estee Kho! :P

Oh oh oh!
Had a really long chat with Sweetie.no2 too! :D
Like it's been ages since we caught up!
Heh, :)

& aha ha ha,
I'm gonna be Teddy Bear's prom date this Friday,
After being a receptionist at the start of the event.
Ahahaha, it was really nice catching up with people Brotherrrr, LDC, Teddy Bear & many other more!

Iffah! NoooooOOoOooOooo!
Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Omgzxc, I zi-high le!
More detailed blogging another day I guess!

`x estee x`

Those eyes :/

I'll never forget those eyes.

Somehow or rather,
I got the answer I did not wish to know.

`x estee x`

Happy B'Day Lil'Alden <3

Hee, today's lil'Alden's birthday! :)
Right, and I found out its 'Alden' & not 'Elden'. :x
It's nice seeing your lil'nephew grow,
The Journey of Alden, hah! :D

Oh, cut my hair today, like finally! :D
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
I gotta chiong the powerpoint now,
byeee!

`x estee x`

Boring Sat / Misses!

I read through a post that I posted on mysilent-sayings,
and oh boy, I smiled like this :D
heh, :p

Blah, today's been a boring Saturday.
I can't get my brain to study anything today,
*smacks myself*!
But I'm very sure I'm in for a real intensive studying sessions with my 'tutors' soon!
Cause their O's are gonna end,
and they're gonna help me with my studies,
and ace that provisional exams!
Yay oh Yay! :D

Then I'm gonna meet up with Zerlina, Davin, Richelle, Angie, Ya Kai, & lots lots more! :P
Three cheers for that! :)
I really really miss so many of them!
& I'm finally gonna conference with BCP, Big'Sissy', Daddy! :)
*giggles*
I'm feeling really happy upon that thought!

But oh well, Estee Kho, you better study at least an hour later!
I'm sure I can do it, cause I have to do it!
and and and,
Imissyou :)

`x estee x`

Petition/

Whoever who used my name to sign that bloody petition,

you're so dead.

Cause I freaking know who you are, Bastard.

`x estee x`

FULL STOP.

I'm just not gonna freaking care anymore ok.
You can just say whatever you want about me.
BUT PLEASE DON'T PULL MY FRIENDS IN,
OR ELSE YOU'LL SERIOUSLY GET IT.
WE ARE QUITS NOW, I REALLY DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, AND I'LL MIND MINE.

& right, I am a 'fucking bad girl', thanks DD, I'll forever remember this. :)

`x estee x`

2253hrs

I think I am really dumb.
This is the last f*ing time that I'm gonna tear over this f*ed up friendship.
Friendship?
Right.., when it was filled with hatred ever since the start of the year?

From now on, 2253hrs 5 November 2008, I'm never gonna reminisce a single shit about this f*ed up friendship,
NEVER F*ING AGAIN.

`x estee x`

Part II

I remembered wanting to blog something happy for part II,
but I can't exactly remember what it was! =O

But anyway, I'm glad things are back to normal after like what,
two nights? :)
I thank god for blessing me with the greatest friends!
I'm not gonna remember all the things I've known for the past two nights!
It's a whole new start of this friendship,once again! :D

And yeah, somehow or rather I seem to be getting closer to Wai Yan.
Now I'm cursing myself for getting influenced by other people about her when I didn't know her at that time, sorry Wai Yannnnn! =/

And yeah, even though the past two nights was quite an emotional distraught for me,
I wanna thank Riffin,Delia, Wai Yan, Mark, Ying Heng, Titus, Gordon, Pris, Jing Yu, John, & most of all you, for being there for me! :D

OH OH OH,
talking about JOHN,
I think I've something to blog about him!
HE'S A FREAKINGGGG NICE CHAP OKAYYYY.
& TO THINK I WAS SOOOOO MEAN TO HIM EVER SINCE P5!
HEYYY, BUT CAN'T HELP IT OKAYY,
I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE! =x
But anyway, we signed a peace treaty! heh =p
So three cheers to a new friend found! ^.^
And seriously omg people, if you're feeling dead darn troubled,
try talking to this nice chap here! :D
Ya, you're not seeing things wrongly,
John Lee Guo You! :D

AHAHAHAHA, I think I am crazy and zi-high now!
happy happy! (:

`x estee x`

Part I

I'm gonna blog today's post in two different parts.
Let's just say the *bad?* one first?

I admitted, I hated her in the past cause she "three-timed" two of my good friends at that point of time.
But come to think about it, we just based on one side of his story of what happened.
Did you ever hear her part?
I'm not saying that he was lying or what, but think about it, you're supposed to find out both sides of the story before making a conclusion right?
You all just assumed that she was a bitch and whatever.
And you all believed the rumors, about what others say about her.
And I assumed things were what it was too.

In the end, I took one year to find out the truth.
I lost a friend within that one year,
cause I didn't believe her, and didn't give her the chance to explain for herself.
And one year later, we all cleared things up and I found out that I was actually so dumb to just assume things were just what it was.

I regretted, not giving her a chance to explain herself.
And now, we are able to be good friends, cause we know the truth.
But do you even know anything about the truth?
No, and you just assumed what kind of a person she was.
Look, everyone has been a hypocrite before, I admit I was one before too.
But you know what, at least I wasn't a hypocrite that I became a slut.
I'm not implying that you're a slut, but its just that some people became so hypocritical that they are name as sluts, as told by my cousin.

All this while, I know you all have been bitching about me.
I didn't responded in any way, and all those accusations you all made was just being heard by another third party right?
Have you all ever even thought that the truth is otherwise?
That what the third party said was just some stupid piece of news that was just channelled around bitches that made the truth become much interesting by adding some bitchy elements and substance to it?
This world has turned into such a bitchy world, that even your closest friend may just turn your back against you.

All along, I know you all have been bitching about me, and I didn't even bother to clear things up, since most of it were not even true.
Why should I even bother to clear things up, when I know all this bitching topic is not even true? Seriously, if you even know me well enough, you wouldn't even have said all that.
I know, some bitches told you both that I was bitching about how you both have changed or whatever.

You know what, when I read your posts, I was thinking if it was even me?
Ya, people change, and I've learned to accept that fact, not too long ago though.
It's just sad okay, that you've to become someone that you're not.
Oh just for your info, I wasn't even bitching about it.
When I even said that you both changed, I swear that there were times when I felt really sad deep inside.

Because of the once close friendship that we all had,
Because of the photos that we once took,
Because of the times where we spent together at PRP,
Because of the fact that when we were one big family tree,
Because of the memorable things that we did during sec one.
Because of the close bond of msWATEVER & msANYTHING.

EVERYONE CHANGE, AND I ADMIT I CHANGED TOO.
What's wrong with just being friend and say hello to people?
What's wrong with being initiative?
What's wrong with doing the right thing?
What's wrong with helping a friend to get away from trouble?
What's wrong with liking someone?

And I definitely change to become more dumb,
I admit that there were certain matters that I understood,
but I chose to be dumb and pretended I didn't understand.
Because sometimes by understanding,
It'll just end up creating a whole big misunderstanding,
or even leading myself to be even more unhappy.

I led a damn f*ing emo life in the past, its so f*ing emo that I couldn't even belived that I was like that in the past.
Now that I've changed to get over the past,
and lead a happy life,
people accuses me of being ______ [ whatever negative things you can say about someone ].

Another thing that I want to highlight, NOBODY IS PERFECT.
I've learned to accept other's weaknesses.
And I've also learned to forgive and forget.
That was why I was able to forgive so many people that I once hated/disliked.

If you were to make one less enemy, wouldn't this world be much more peaceful?
Isn't hating someone tiring?
I remember mentioning this thing about me before,
I can hate you so much today,
but I can just forget my hatred for you two days later or even tomorrow?
If you don't even mess with me, I wouldn't even cross your path.

Maybe this is what happens,
"A" tells you that I've been bitching about you.
But the truth might just be "A" does not want the both of us to be on good terms?
You know how despicable or even scary people can get?
And you believed his/her words and entered the trap that he/she setted.
He/She must have been laughing at your stupidity to even believe him/her.
And right now, your once best friend became your greatest enemy of all times.
Wow, isn't that just soooooo wonderful?

Oh my god, I just can't believed I even typed out this whole lengthy post!
Oh well, I seriously can't be bothered by what you all wanna say okay.
I'm leading my life too well to be even affected by you all bitches out there. :)

`x estee x`

Suicidal Thoughts

Hur, I had suicidal thoughts yesterday for the very first time after so long.

`x estee x`

Mac at Four in the Morning!

Mac at four in the morning, how coooooool! :D
Lol, but I just drank the milo!
& guess who's the pig who was eating! =p

`x estee x`

Quiz : Mark

1. The person who tagged you this quiz is?
Mark Weng Yi Yong :)

2.Relationship with him?
Buddayee! :D

3.Five Impressions of him?
Cool, Likes to tze siao me about the sms that I sent wrongly!, Nice, Friendly, Funny!

4.Most memorable thing he has ever done to you?
I can't think of any now.

5.Most memorable thing he has ever told you?
So many?

6.If he become yr lover, will you?
He won't become my lover, :P

7.If he really became yr lover what must he improve on?
Like I said, he won't be my lover! :P

8.If he became yr enemy, you will....
He won't become my enemy either! :)

9.Overall impression?
Buddayyeeeee, so what do you think?

`x estee x`

happy / emo

I want to be this happy.

`x estee x`

A Night to Remember.

I swear the night of 30th October 2008 was a night to remember! :)

`x estee x`